No wonder, in this climate, it was reported last weekend that the unpopularity of Saint Ramadollar is now worse than that of Msholozi at his lowest point, according to a recent survey by Afro-barometer.
Opinion & Analysis

Satirical journalism isn’t only for laughs

FOR most of the past four years, uber-narcissist and pathological liar, Madzibaba Hornywell (Mr Me, Myself and I Fake Award Winning Non-Journalist a.k.a.

The Cunning Double Agent) has played Russian roulette with the lives of many people. Now, and as long predicted by VAR, he is beginning to reap the whirlwind of his perfidious behaviour — call it karma — with more and more people, both on the Red Devils and Yellow Submarine side calling him out for the loathsome, two-faced trickster that he is.

Yes, it’s a fact that Horny plays for both teams, which is why he will only ever criticise one faction of the Red Devils. If only the jolly good Editor of the Daily News would allow VAR to put the irrefutable V11s in this regard in the public domain. Which all begs the million-dollar question: Why does Copperhead continue to fly with this well-known double-dealing charlatan, instead of valuing the company and counsel of his long-standing comrades?

Monumental Slip Up

But while VAR has previously recognised the capacity of Madzibaba Hornywell (Mr Me, Myself and I Fake Award Winning Non-Journalist a.k.a. The Cunning Double Agent) to manipulate key power centres in both the Red Devils and the Canaries — all the while making a very decent living for himself from this — he has now overplayed his hand.

The Video Assistant Referee is reliably informed that the Red Devils faction that has used him very effectively thus far is beginning to see loudmouth Madzibaba Horny, the Ayatollah of Fibs, as a liability. On the Cult side, Mr Me, Myself and I Fake Award Winning Non-Journalist’s narcissism is also becoming a major problem for Copperhead ahead of 2023, with many of the Viper’s allies of old now thoroughly fed up with.

The Cunning Double Agent’s duplicity and self-obsessed ways. Yes, it’s always about him and never about the country, the Cult or real democracy. Remember dear readers, that VAR disclosed recently that a Cult bigwig had aptly described Madzibaba Horny as a “sly bulls**t artist who makes a living from misleading the president (Copperhead) nekupedza vanasikana mumovement medu umu” (once again pardon the direct French quote). Well, things are escalating quickly, and even the “journalistic con of note” knows that his comeuppance is around the corner. Ziyakhala ke manje!

Fare-Thee-Well Elizabeth Regina

The hypocrisy of the Masters of the Universe stinks to high heaven, just like that of the Unrepentant Selous Scout who lives in VAR’s neighbourhood here in kontuthu ziyathunqa — who “in the good old days” of his beloved Rhodesia used to enjoy throwing the bodies of freedom fighters down disused mine shafts. Indeed, these people say one thing, and then go on to do another.

They make rules for everyone in the world that they themselves don’t follow. They judge and preach to others but fail to follow their own guidance. They demand things of others that they are unwilling to do themselves and condemn the actions of others even though they commit worse acts. Even when they appear to help other people and nations, they are just pretending to care when their real motive is self-serving.

They lecture and penalise some people and countries for doing “wrong things”, but look the other way, and even cover up for their friends. And so it was, that when Elizabeth Regina departed this world a fortnight ago, peaceful anti-monarchy protesters in Albion were set upon and arrested. Imagine the contrived outrage from the West if this had happened in the beloved teapot-shaped country.

And the Unrepentant Selous Scout and Madzibaba Hornywell (Mr Me, Myself and I Fake Award Winning Non-Journalist a.k.a. The Cunning Double Agent) would never stop talking about it!

Incompetent Assassins

According to the Cult, the Red Devils have been trying — repeatedly — to assassinate Jean-Bédel Bokassa, the latest attempt being allegedly at a rally in Chinhoyi. Funny enough, all these assassination attempts are never worthy of being reported to the police, but can be broadcast to the world for maximum effect — while everyone is supposed to believe that Zim’s famed gunslingers who ousted Uncle Bob from power want to, but can’t take out the Viper. Incredulously, a life-threatening bomb allegedly exploded in Chinhoyi, but the Viper and his followers still merrily went ahead with their rally at the venue. Imi vanhu imi, ityai Mwari.

Until next week, Azishe!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *