ALTHOUGH Mai Jukwa and the Norton Hustler (Temba Mliswa to the uninitiated) are not everyone’s cup of tea — they can both be prone to vexing fickleness — lamadoda angakumangaza (these two men can surprise you) with their uncanny wisdom.
Remember dear readers Mrs Jukwa’s recent savage jab at Mazizi that 80 percent of them were probably naturally stupid and that, therefore, one couldn’t reason them out of their stupidity.
To be fair to Mai Jukwa, the barrage of embarassingly lame and incoherent social media rantings of leading Cult advocates on a variety of subjects — including politics, sanctions, the Commonwealth and even satellites — has proven on a daily basis that his controversial hypothesis carries a lot of weight!
Enter Ruto’s Zim Twin
Now, the Norton Hustler may not be as consistently erudite and sharp-tongued as Mrs Jukwa, but the political bruiser is no less deadly when he is on song.
This week, he elegantly exposed the hypocrisy of Mazizi for criticising Simboti after authorities released benefits due to the opposition leader, as per his parliamentary position, while their legislators and councillors continue to happily receive benefits due to them from the same Red Devils administration.
At this point it really is worth quoting the Norton Hustler at length to drive home the important points he made. “Mwonzora is the recognised leader of Gvt business & that’s a fact. You cannot contrive to create conspiracies everywhere … It’s good for Mwonzora that he got that. That’s his benefit.
“For the record (Nelson) Chamisa was offered this position way before @DMwonzora and he would have received all these. He refused (to take this) due to his own principles and perception. Would he have become a sellout if he accepted? No! “Sometimes you have to be practical and mature in your approach. You cannot go around labeling everyone a sellout.
The @CCCZimbabwe MPs are receiving salaries and perks from a Gvt led by @edmnangagwa. Does that make them sellouts? “Mwonzora has received the same perks different only in level due to his position, but it’s the same thing. Being opposition doesn’t mean fighting everything and everyone not on your side.
“You can still remain a valid and legitimate opposition even while supporting some Gvt positions and decisions. The bigger ideal is the success of the nation, not parties! “Some peddle the narrative of hate politics because that is only how they survive in politics, by creating hate for others … Their foundation & essence is hate for the opposing side.
That isn’t progressive politics!” the Norton Hustler thundered. Charlatans Of Note, The Cult and Mazizi enjoy judging and preaching to others, but always fail to follow their own prescriptions. Indeed, they demand things of the Red Devils and others that they themselves are not willing to do.
They also love condemning the actions of others although many of them commit worse acts. In truth, and as VAR has observed many times before, this primitive behaviour is wholly in character, as Mazizi are now arguably more vile both on Sosho and in real life than the Red Devils. Because of this, the Video Assistant Referee can only say hear, hear to what the Norton Hustler said.
Serial Moaner Penaldo
Despite Manchester United’s scintillating last-gasp victory against Fulham in the Premier League last weekend, most of the news around the club this week has been on Cristiano Ronaldo and the distasteful interview that he gave to the loathsome Piers Morgan (he who is obsessed with Meghan Markle).
VAR is no fan of The Busby Babes, but surely even the not so gifted Penaldo (a third rate version of Messi) must realise that what he did, and the way he did it — to demean his manager Erik ten Hag and the club that pays him — is disgusting and completely out of line. As a result, VAR is 100 percent sure that there is now no way back at the club for this egomaniacal spent force with two left feet.
This was not the first time this season that CR7 had undermined United. No wonder skittish British media are reporting that Penaldo’s behaviour in recent weeks has disappointed many of his fellow players at the club. He is gone. And it’s good riddance to bad rubbish. Maybe VAR can watch United matches now.
Until next Friday, Azishe!
