We shouldn’t take ourselves too seriously all the time.
Opinion & Analysis

Satirical journalism isn’t only for laughs

A SURVEY released this week on South African voter sentiment ahead of the country’s keenly-awaited 2024 general elections makes for very interesting and instructive reading, especially for opposition politicians and their supporters in our own teapot fatherland.

While voters in the neighbouring country are thoroughly fed up with Ramadollar and his governing ANC (this is putting it mildly) — what with the myriad crises facing Mzanzi on so many fronts — there are still no other political alternatives that really resonate with them.

And while the survey also found that no party would receive more than 50 percent of the vote in 2024, with the poll projecting the ANC’s support at 41 percent then, it also showed that the likely share of the vote for Failed Experiment MyMoney’s former party, the Democratic Alliance, would continue to decline, to 18 percent — while the colurful Teletubbies’ (the EFF to the uninitiated) would increase to a respectable 15 percent.

For a keen political observer like VAR, the most fascinating aspect of the survey is the finding that South African voters, although disillusioned with Trader Ankole and the ANC, are struggling to find an alternative that resonates with them.

 A Familiar Zim Movie

Zimbos have definitely seen this movie many times before. Indeed, how many times have clueless outsiders and deluded locals believed that the unhappiness of compatriots here would lead to the Red Devils being turfed out of power? Yet in successive plebiscites local voters have not found an attractive alternative to the fist-waving brigade (Copyright: one Mavhure) — except in 2008 when the down to earth and much-loved late Chematama gave the at-that-point seriously loathed Uncle Bob (even among the Reds) a bloody nose in that year’s polls.

And so, the Red Devils remain a dominant force in the teapot country as we head to 2023, with many voters remaining fiercely loyal to them, especially in their rural strongholds. It is a silly myth to think that everyone who votes for them is coerced.

Here is VAR’s finally word on this. Anyone who believes that it’s high noon for the fist-waving brigade as 2023 looms needs to visit Madzibaba Bond’s shrine for urgent spiritual, psychological and political assistance!

America & Political Chaos

The United States of America’s mid-term elections have come and gone. And as everyone knows, Sleepy Joe and his DINO team — although not completely shellacked by the GOP — did not have a good time. But the Video Assistant Referee is not really interested in who won what, as this does not make an iota of difference about the Yankees’ twisted world outlook and their misplaced sense of exceptionalism. Indeed, many Americans often look at their country as a “world” grounded in high-minded democratic ideals and peaceful transitions of power. However, this is far from the reality, as American politics has been heavily laced with violence and intimidation since the nation’s founding — even as successive administrations in Washington love to point accusing fingers at everyone else in the world.

Four Assassinated Presidents

Given the above, it is little wonder that America has — among many horror developments — endured the death of four presidents from assassination, a civil war, racist attacks on civil rights activists, deadly clashes between protesting citizens and law enforcers, sustained campaigns of violence against marginalised populations seeking equality, politically motivated mass shootings, and the shocking spectacle of a mob attack on Washington in January last year.

Which all demonstrates that violence is deeply engrained in American politics, contrary to the notion that this phenomenon is a feature of poor developing countries.

The bedrock idea uniting many right-wing communities who condone violence in America is that white men there are under cultural and demographic threat, and thus require defending — which has seen all black and brown people paying a very high price for their colour over the centuries.

And here is a most scary thought, one Mar-a-Lardo Drumpf — who has always claimed that he alone can safeguard the white right’s way of life in Mereka — could even come back to lead The Melting Pot in 2024! Should this happen, God forbid, watch how partisan identity will be even more conflated with race, ethnicity, religion and immigration statuses. It won’t be pretty.

Ndikunzwei futi muchibatanidza ma-sanctions nekusawiririna kwevanhu munyika yedu. Ko kwavo?

Until next Friday, Azishe!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *