We shouldn’t take ourselves too seriously all the time.
Opinion & Analysis

Satirical journalism isn’t only for laughs

AS VAR has said repeatedly over the past few months, he is very happy that he makes an honest living from observing, analysing and pronouncing on concrete, verifiable facts on events in our beloved teapot country.

Indeed, just as well, because VAR wouldn’t survive one day in the cloud-cuckoo-land that is inhabited by some ever lying and hypocritical politicians like Desperate Ruka (The Cult’s Unwanted And Now Fictional Deputy Champion For Presidential Affairs), as well as Pharisaic hacks-for-hire. The stock-in-trade of these people is bearing false witness against innocent people, often just for social media likes, while also saying one thing and doing the opposite all the time.

Revenge Porn

And so, on that score, we move quickly to Mazizi, who were apoplectic this week, after claims emerged on social media that somebody had distributed explicit images of a prominent Cult lady follower without her consent, with the apparent intention of causing her distress and embarrassment. In common parlance, what is claimed to have happened here is known as revenge porn, and — dear Daily News readers — it is illegal.

Without doubt, VAR sympathises with the young lady in this matter, as she does not deserve the despicable treatment that she received. After all, all she did was engage in normal human activity. The hope is that the alleged perpetrator of this crime will be made to account for his evil deeds sooner rather than later.

Stinking Hypocrisy

That said, the hypocrisy of Mazizi always stinks to high heaven, as examplified by the behaviour of the Unrepentant Selous Scout who lives in VAR’s neighbourhood here in kontuthu ziyathunqa — who “in the good old days” of his beloved Rhodesia used to enjoy throwing the bodies of compatriots down disused mine shafts.

Without any sense of shame, he now styles himself as a democracy defender. Now, remember dear readers how Mazizi went berserk when a former State vice president was allegedly caught with his pants down — and blackmailed for engaging in consensual mjolo with his lady friends a while ago —moralising about the case then.

In the end, the poor man paid a high price for this private business. The boot is on the other foot this time, and one of their own is caught in these normal adult activities. And Mazizi have, miraculously, completely forgotten about their deceitful sermonisations about nooky of a few months ago. Which is typical of them.

They enjoy judging and preaching to others, but fail to follow their own prescriptions. Look at how they always demand things of the Red Devils that they and their sanctimonious leaders are not willing to do. Indeed, they love condemning the actions of others although many of them commit worse acts.

Covid Deaths

Daily News readers will also remember how many decent Zimbabweans were shocked out of their skins by the depravity of Mazizi when they celebrated the death of bigwigs linked to the Red Devils during the height of the coronavirus pandemic two years ago.

In truth, that primitive behaviour was entirely expected and wholly in character, as Mazizi are arguably often more-vile both on Sosho and in real life than the Red Devils. What was more disquieting at the time of these deaths was how even supposedly lettered and enlightened know-it-alls who loved the Change Alliance (the predecessor body to the Yellow Submarine) — as is their right — also engaged in the obnoxious witchcraft of celebrating those losses of life, like they themselves were immortal.

It was stomach-churning. The fact is that all the Mazizi zombies knew that Covid did not discriminate or respect people’s social statuses or political affiliations. Indeed, the vast majority of the many compatriots who succumbed to the deadly respiratory disease during this difficult period were not top dogs belonging to the Red Devils.

VAR also remembers how Mazizi climbed into the Daily News with a relish at that time for not participating in the still prevalent lie that the Red Devils had patents to vulgarity and barbarism in the beloved fatherland — sparking the unabashed falsehoods by the likes of Desperate Ruka that the country’s only growing newspaper was now owned by politically-exposed persons. Well, time — as it always does — has exposed these lying sobs and their hypocrisy. And 2023 is again set to teach them another lesson for this.

Until next Friday, Azishe!

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