I TOLD YOU SO. These are the four piercing words that VAR would be telling Copperhead and his Cult if he was in the powerful position of the jolly good Editor of the Daily News.
Fortunately, and to VAR’s internal disappointment, the ever-modest Chief Executive of News of this inimitable newspaper is too much of a gentleman to gloat and kick people when they go down as a result of their maddeninght conceitedness.
For those readers who may be wondering where this is going, the Canaries are on fire, as many respected pundits long predicted would happen — amid palpable confusion, infighting and a growing sense of despair within the Secret Sect.
All of which appears to confirm the saying that those who don’t know history are destined to repeat it. Indeed, we have all seen this horror movie before when the Cult’s predecessor organisation imploded in spectacular fashion as a result of the Viper’s vanity.
At the same time, VAR is aware that there was a time when the jolly good Editor of the Daily News would regularly speak to Copperhead and try to be as helpful as possible, as is in the nature of his job, and as he always does with other stakeholders of all hues.
Politics Of Vainglory
Then the Viper’s legendary big-headedness took hold. And everyone who could provide him with a modicum of oxygen and comradely advice to temper his ego and hasty decision-making as the Red Devils circled his shrivelling Chete Chete Alliance at the time was treated with shocking contempt, including erstwhile political allies and longstanding friends. In these good people’s places came unprincipled social media influencers, back-stabbing and double-dealing twisters, two-bit academics and a coterie of other unelected gatekeepers with dubious agendas.
And so, the professional relationship between Copperhead and the jolly good Editor of the Daily News — whose arm was broken by Mugabe’s brutal storm troopers two decades ago as he fought for democracy in the beloved motherland — ended, with subsequent attempts to gently nudge the Viper in the right direction via tame editorials taken as an attack on him.
In fact, history has already recorded that Copperhead reacted to all this even more viciously, despite the fact that this was all in his interest and that of the country, going on to unleash his army of cyber thugs who included some hacks-for-hire on the jolly good Editor of the Daily News and his newspapers.
All to no avail. Remarkably, this unmerited malice and all the false whispers had the complete opposite effect of what the Viper intended, and the Daily News and its sister operations enjoyed their best days ever commercially during this onslaught — demonstrating beyond doubt that Twitter is not the real world, and that ordinary Zimbabweans are much smarter than they usually get credit for from myopic politicians!
All Hell Breaks Loose
Now, and as VAR hinted last week, the proverbial brown stuff has hit the fan, and there is pandemonium within the ranks of the Canaries. And everything that the Daily News predicted would happen to Copperhead and the Cult is coming to pass.
VAR even fears that things will get worse going forward, hopefully not to the extent of the chaos which collapsed the Chete Chete Alliance. This is why the penny has finally dropped for Copperhead and the Yellow Submarine that the only viable route out of Zimbabwe’s decades-long political and economic challenges is inclusive dialogue.
This is notwithstanding the fact that for the past three years the Viper and his insufferable gatekeepers had foolishly pilloried the Daily News for consistently and correctly advancing the utility of political talks — while the Cult operated under the insane delusion that it was just a matter of time before the Almighty opened the gates of Dzimbahwe House for them.
Meanwhile, VAR had another riveting conversation this week with a top Cult official here in kontuthu ziyathunqa. He was concerned about the future of the Yellow Submarine in the light of its growing confusion and many centres of power.
He said bluntly that social media influencers and other unelected gatekeepers around Copperhead would be the death of the Cult. Which all suggests that it’s time we all tried laughter yoga (Hasya yoga), a popular modern exercise movement involving prolonged voluntary laughter — to relieve our sky-high political stress!
Until next week, Azishe
