VAR had a cracking discussion this past weekend with a few people, including a top interim Cult official, at a local hotel here in kontuthu ziyathunqa.
Our discussion touched on everything — from the war in Eastern Europe, to the state of the teapot country’s current political and economic landscape, as well as the local media’s position in the fluid body politic.
For those readers with overactive imaginations like the troubled hack who likes to fashion himself as the doyen of Zim journalism, the discussion did not, most definitely, include the unrepentant Selous Scout who apparently still pines for Rhodesia. Neither was the insufferable Mutoriro Smile anywhere near Skies with his embarrassingly skimpy understanding of the media. VAR doesn’t suffer fools.
The People Know
It was the Yellow Submarine official’s uncannily insightful views on the local media, in particular, which had the Video Assistant Referee almost jumping up from his chair in delighted surprise and piercing the air with a Cultish Hallelujah — which, unfortunately, would have blown his cover, to the obvious chagrin of the jolly good Editor of the Daily News.
The wonderful Mr X, an erudite Canaries top dog, described the local media scene as a minefield where — save for a few products — partisan outlooks meant that people did not miss much if they did not listen to the radio or read a newspaper or website to help them understand what was going on around them.
Very interestingly, he was very scathing of those outlets that are seemingly actively working to be seen as PR Extensions of the Cult, describing them as “extremely shallow and doing more damage to the country’s democratic quests than what even the most rabidly pro-establishment media are doing”.
Even more interestingly, he singled out the Daily News as one title which was trying to raise its head above the parapet, and to be consistently professional and balanced in its reporting, in a market in which the deadly combination of chequebook journalism and political polarisation have compromised many.
This was high praise for the Daily News and its ever modest Editor — coming, as this did, from half of the country’s political divide where allegiances are portrayed as black and white matters, and where one is either seen as with them or against them.
Lies Have Short Legs
Indeed, it is amazing how everything that the newspaper predicted would happen to the opposition over the past two years has come to pass, even as a few cyber bullies, including well-known hacks-for-hire and two-bit academics, have made all kinds of false claims against the Daily News during this time.
Meanwhile, this period has also completely debunked all the false claims on and around the Daily News, with even Rotund Eriya having since been exposed as one of the hacks-for-hire who tried to sell bottled smoke to his gullible followers.
In the meantime too, the “new” Daily News is an infinitely more successful newspaper all round than the “old” one which Nyati and some other half wits occasionally attempt to weaponise in a vain bid to try and derail the paper for the people. It’s not working.
For this deceitful lot as well, what is right and wrong — and true or false — depends entirely on who this helps or hurts in politics, or what they get out of the situation.
Glass House Dwellers
Readers will know that it’s not the Daily News’s style to criticise, or even to show interest in the many gangrenous goings-on at other media houses. They will also remember that it only ever mentions its rivals when they have crossed the line in their pitiable hatchet jobs on the iconic title.
Sadly, these delusional amateurs also mistakenly think that just because others don’t start senseless wars, that this is a sign of weakness or fear on the part of the silent professionals. Yet, when these pathetic twerps like Mutoriro Smile and his hilarious social media broadcasts are deservedly clapped back, they whine like babies.
In this light, VAR feels a sense of responsibility to help stem the alien culture of lying, foolish grandstanding and attacking other media houses that is increasingly becoming a cancer in the industry — by returning the favour in kind and with interest.
After all, what’s good for the goose should be good for the gander. Thus, let all adrenaline junkies who live in glass houses, but still love to play with stones — be warned.
Until next week, Azishe!”